confession: I really crave control
Hey friends!!
Summer is strange. Everyone’s schedules are different. There’s trips or vacations or family in town. We might sleep more or less or on a different schedule. I know for me each of my days are different. Some days I’ll still nanny a 10 or 12 hour day. Some days I don’t work at all in the middle of the week and jump from one coffee date to paddleboarding to homework for my summer class. I see different people. The usual people at home or church or friends groups might be out of town. I have numerous trips & vacations filling my weeks and sleeping in different beds or hotels. These are some of my favorite days and weeks. I like the spontaneity, mostly never ending sunshine, longer days, extra time packed in with family & friends. And, to be honest, sometimes these days are dysregulating. Almost everyone I know loves routine & predictability. There is something reassuring in monotonous & predictable work days or rainy days where you are trapped inside.
Do you crave control like me?! Do you want to know what each day holds, know why people are making the decisions they choose, wonder why family members interact the way they do, do what makes YOU feel good? Your heart may not be operating for the right motives. No matter what our days look like, who we interact with, or when things are different, the biggest aspects of our lives remain the same. We can rest in God’s unchanging character. We have fullness of joy in Him!
“But the Lord is faithful; He will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one. And we are confident in the Lord that you are doing and will continue to do the things we commanded you. May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ.” 2 Thessalonians 3:3-5
Far too often, I find myself wanting to lead or guide or control. I want to know what’s going to happen. I want to know the schedule, think I know what decisions would be best for my life or someone else’s. These days that feel different or directionless or less in control, we have some choices. Are we trusting the Lord to guide & guard our hearts? Are we resting in His freedom so He can use us for His glory? Are we confident in our Savior & His ways?
I guess my point is, this self discipline is hard for me in the summer time & I find myself straying from the Lord. There is a lack of routine in my days, & I lack the structured time in the Word. I am out of my “daily grind”. I am not as focused. It’s not - read my Bible - go for a run - work - evening activity - bed - anymore. My mind wanders & wonders. I am working part time and taking classes parttime for July & August. I’ll be back to full time school & nannying in September, but for now, I have free time. I haven’t had regular free time in years. It’s weird.
So, in these moments of change or vacation or free time or different rhythms, stay strong friends. Turn back to the Word. Let your mind wander to the goodness of God. Use your extra time to pray & be intentional with how the Lord is working in your life. God is faithful friends - in every season.