what are you going to be when you grow up?
Hey friends!!
I was on a walk with a baby & a 6-year-old I care for the other week. As we were chatting, he looked up from his dandelion & said, “Auntie Sabrina, what are you going to be when you grow up?” I laughed & told him, “Well, I am kind of already a grown up, & I get to take care of you?” He shook his head and said, “No, I mean, what are you going to do when you are more growed up?”
All my life, I believed that you had to “get there”. That you will reach a point of satisfaction in completing all the education you were capable of, getting the dream job, getting married, having children, owning the house you wanted in the place you could never afford. Over the last few months, I have found contentment in realizing my searching & strivings aren’t where my heart should be. My goal should be to honor & glorify Christ right now.
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12:2
This week, I was chatting with a friend who has endured trials & change over the last few years as many of us have. She and her husband are continuing to hit roadblocks as they have tried to have children both biologically and through adoption. We talked about how the Lord has grown & taught her heart contentment & equipped her in these years of trials. In the midst of a season of waiting & wondering, she feels content. Wow. I don’t know about you, but my heart does not lean towards peace & contentment in trials. This grounded friend was resting in satisfaction & joy of where God has her now. She joyfully shared blossoming friendships, church ministry she is involved in, aspects of her job she was enjoying, & how her marriage was growing in this season. I could clearly see the effort & heart work she was sharing as she was striving in serving the Lord. She & her husband had been praying for a baby for years & I would say it’s her biggest longing & desire right now. And yet, she wasn’t choosing to place all her hopes & joys in having a baby. Though I think it is a good & holy thing to long for a baby in marriage, our hope & daily fulfillment is in Christ alone. Sinfully, instead of resting in peace, I often start to wonder why, wish it was different, wait for my circumstances to change, pray that the Lord would take away pain or waiting, & replace it with joy & the circumstances I think I should be going through. Honestly, this is rather selfish of me. Thinking that I am in control, that I know what should happen, that I want something & that it will happen. What if I wasted all my time yearning for something that isn’t in God’s will? What if I thought all would be fulfilled & I would be happy if & when all my goals were achieved? This idolization of life seasons or circumstances or aching for something or someone that we don’t have is doing a lot more harm then good. So I rest each day knowing God is using me for His Kingdom.
We serve a Savior that uses us each & every day to grow & love others & to glorify Him.
So friends, will you work on this with me? I will never “get there” or “be all the way growed up” or in a season where everything is “perfect”. There is such overwhelming peace when you stop waiting & wondering, & see what the Lord is doing in your life right now. I am so thankful that the Lord is using me in a season of education, nannying, being active, investing in friendships & family, & growing my heart in Him.